Coming to our holiday-type party on Saturday? Here’s the FAQ:

Q: Where are you? 

A: 132 Dikeman St., Red Hook, Brooklyn, between Van Brunt and Conover Streets. Ring buzzer #3. We’re on the second floor. Try not to think too hard about this part.

Q: What should I bring?

A: A spare winter coat, if you’d like to donate one to the newyorkcares.org winter coat drive. 

Beer and wine are always welcome.

Q: What time?

A: 7ish. If you have kid-scheduling needs, or want to help with food prep, 5ish is fine.

Q: Will there be food? 

A: There will be a lot of food, all of it served on latkes.

Q: May I bring my famous double-ding-dong choco-delight cake?

A: You bet.

Q: Will there be vegetarian options?

A: Yes.

Q: Will there be vegan options?

A: Don’t count on it.

Q: How about non-alcoholic beverages?

A: Apple cider will be provided.

Q: May I bring Iphigenia, my 5-year-old daughter?

A: Only if she likes latkes. Earlier is probably better for kids.

Q: My cousin Eddy is in town. May I bring him?

A: Only if he likes latkes.

Q: My dog Ralph adores latkes. May I bring him?

A: Our dog September has an exclusive contract to provide begging, tail-chasing, and auto-anilingus services at this event. 

Q: Is there a place to put my bike?

A: If you’re riding your Caminargent, we’ll find a place for it inside. Otherwise, please bring a lock. There’s a substantial fence, and a number of posts, outside.

Q: Will I be able to find parking? 

A: Probably.

Q: I’m really shy around strangers, but I do like latkes. Can I come anyway?

A: Yes.